How often have you:
Said what you really wanted to say (rather than what was politically correct or designed to ease tensions)?
Yes/most of the time ____
No/wimped out ____
Discussed an idea without a PowerPoint presentation?
Yes/most of the time ____
No/wimped out ____
Let the other person know you were angry or upset?
Yes/most of the time ____
No/wimped out ____
Gave clear instructions/requests?
Yes/most of the time ____
No/wimped out ____
Communicated the consequences of not delivering?
Yes/most of the time ____
No/wimped out ____
Laid out what was acceptable and unacceptable performance?
Yes/most of the time ____
No/wimped out ____
Had informal chat time with colleagues or subordinates?
Yes/most of the time ____
No/wimped out ____
Used your insight into how someone else was feeling to build a relationship?
Yes/most of the time ____
No/wimped out ____
Changed the way you talked to someone based on your knowledge of his or her needs/requirements?
Yes/most of the time ____
No/wimped out ____
Relied on simple words and straight talk to get your points across?
Yes/most of the time ____
No/wimped out ____
SCORING (based on number of Yes answers):
0–2: Personna non gratta
3–5: Foot soldier
6–8: Captain
8–10: Boss of bosses
The next monitoring exercise is a checklist of mistakes you want to avoid if you want to demonstrate Soprano-style communication skills:
Mistake #1: Talking like a mealymouthed weasel who’s afraid that whatever he says is going to bite him on the butt.
Mistake #2: Using $100 words that sound great but no one else has a fuckin’ clue what you’re talking about.
Mistake #3: Giving speeches like you’re some kind of professor instead of asking questions like you’re a regular guy.
Mistake #4: Forgetting that just ’cause you know what you want doesn’t mean they know what you want.
Mistake #5: Not telling people what they’ll get if they do it right and what they’ll get if they do it wrong.
Mistake #6: Avoiding getting together with your people outside of work and treating them like they don’t exist unless there’s fluorescent light shining on their heads.
Mistake #7: Telling your guys you don’t want to hear what you did wrong; you just want them to make it right.
The last monitoring device involves remembering that Tony only serves as a leadership model, and that all models can be abused if applied rigidly. Therefore, guard against becoming too Tony-like by watching for the following red flags:
- You find yourself punctuating your letters, speeches, and emails with colorful though offensive profanity.
- You are so forceful that people look at you in the same way as they did at the junior-high bully who demanded their lunch money.
- You’re so candid that you cause people to blush and weep.
- You become so adroit at manipulation that your people start calling you Mr. Machiavelli.
- You go for the jugular when a slight flesh wound would get your point across.