Our most effective leaders are like Tony—they’re fearless about sharing their weaknesses and exposing their vulnerabilities. These leaders continually ask for feedback on how they are doing and want to know what they should change to be more effective. Just as significant, they listen to this feedback and adjust their behavior if such change is warranted. They don’t surround themselves with yes-men. Instead, they’re sufficiently comfortable in their skins that their inner circle includes individuals who challenge their thinking.
Tony can dish it out, but he can also take it, a hallmark of a truly effective leader. Though he makes a great effort to avoid physical vulnerability, he allows himself to be emotionally vulnerable. Not only does he want to hear the bad news and the criticisms, but he encourages people to give him both.
You have to be tough to take feedback, and Tony is as tough as they come. No one likes to hear a direct report tell him that he’s not communicating clearly or for a partner to tell him that he messed up. Tony doesn’t like to hear these things, but there’s a big difference between not liking it and not allowing it. Like any powerful leader, Tony has a healthy ego, and as a result he doesn’t enjoy learning that he isn’t doing as good a job as he thought he was. A healthy ego, as opposed to an overinflated ego, can tolerate the pain to reap the rewards of feedback. Because Tony knows he’s a good leader, he also knows that the majority of feedback he receives will be positive. Even when Tony receives negative feedback, he generally is able to tolerate it better than most leaders because he knows his crew is offering to help him improve the organization. Leaders lacking confidence in their own abilities are the ones most likely to forbid honesty or be afraid to make themselves vulnerable.
TONY ON THE NEED TO TAKE EGO OUT OF THE FEEDBACK EQUATION
"It’s business."
More than ever before, we need leaders who are strong enough to tolerate criticism and bad news. In open, fast-moving cultures, leaders don’t have the luxury of cutting themselves off from critical information. The best leaders are familiar with their strengths and weaknesses and don’t make bad decisions because they’re laboring under illusions about themselves. Receptivity to feedback makes this objectivity and information flow possible.