Some leaders are well informed about what is going on within their organizations and in external environments. They have access to this information in part because they’re good communicators but also because they’re adept at using different forums and opportunities to communicate with people. These leaders know who’s doing well, who’s struggling, who’s aligned with whom, and who’s talking behind others backs. They’re the first ones to spot emerging technology trends and market changes because they rely on more than reading the trade papers and the Internet to obtain their information.
Communication in the Soprano family is fluid and ongoing, formal and informal. It’s amazing what can be accomplished by phone and regular spaghetti lunches, tequila shots at the strip club, espresso during a breakfast meeting at one of the infamous meat markets, or, of course, dinner at Vesuvios. Tony and his captains recognize that it’s not efficient to wade through 50 e-mails or voice mails daily or to sit through numerous three-hour meetings. They also seem to recognize that different forums are useful for different communication goals. At a breakfast meeting at Centannis Meat Market, for instance, Tony asks and gets the lowdown on the Triborough Towers contract. He finds out there is a little bit of trouble and Christopher volunteers to take care of it. This is a great example of how organizations benefit when they have regular, informal meetings. Tony fully expects that by having an ongoing discussion on important topics, someone will step up to the plate and offer good ideas and solutions.
Besides using the meat market, Tony has held meetings at fancy restaurants, dives, strip clubs, cars, his basement, parks, alleys, retail establishments, the racetrack, and at many other venues. Many times, the medium fits the message; he talks about a horse deal at the racetrack and a real estate deal on a vacant parcel of land. When one of Tony’s "clients," a gambler who just happens to be a doctor with an HMO, can’t pay his debt, Tony hatches a scheme at the strip club to defraud the HMO. The settings lend themselves to a discussion of specific issues, creating an ambience that encourages enthusiasm and specificity.
No matter where these meetings are held, the atmosphere is always one of candor and openness. The captains admit when they fuck up and take accountability for their operations. The focus is on moving forward and finding solutions. Tony may get upset at something they did but would rather hear it from the "guilty" party rather than not hear it at all or, worse yet, hear it from someone else.
These "meetings" are also important vehicles to get the buzz on other family members. At this same meeting at Centannis, Silvio tells Tony about some gossip he heard at the club. He says the word on the street is that Junior is going to whack little Pussy in the restaurant owned by Tony’s childhood friend, Artie Bucco. Armed with the information, Tony can strategize how to avoid having the hit take place in his friend’s restaurant.
Tony also uses informal gatherings to stay connected with his key people and allow them to see his "softer" side. One of the big problems hard-nosed, command-and-control leaders face is being perceived as stiff and impersonal. People feel they can’t talk to these leaders outside of a formal meeting, and they don’t feel particularly inspired by them because of their ramrod straight demeanor. As a result, relationships between these leaders and their key people are often strained and then their communication is limited and narrowly focused. Tony, on the other hand, entertains his captains on the weekends and during holidays and they huddle around the barbecue gossiping, telling jokes, or comforting each other. In these relaxed settings, they all let their guard down, expose some vulnerability, and ask for advice or help. If you watch Tony during these informal gatherings, he appears to be relaxed but his eyes are alert and observant. Real 360-degree feedback rarely happens within a formal setting. As Tony grasps, it’s more likely to occur when his crews have a few drinks in them and are relaxing on lounge chairs.
Unlike many leaders, Tony limits the time he spends in any meeting, whether formal or informal. This is in stark contrast to the typical leader, who, according to various surveys, spends 50 percent to 60 percent of her time in meetings. These surveys also reveal that most of these leaders believe relatively little is accomplished during meeting time.
Wherever Tony meets with others, he usually keeps the number of participants to the absolute minimum. While some leadership theorists eschew these small-group meetings as being overly insular, Tony realizes that these small groups are crucial for getting things accomplished. He understands that small groups of people reach decisions more quickly than larger groups do, but most important, that if you have the right input and the right people at the table, you can make good decisions and move on. Admittedly, large organizations have protocols that require certain types of people to be at certain types of meetings, often resulting in crowds. Some leaders, too, regularly hold large meetings for political reasons, because they don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or out of a desire to obtain a wide range of ideas. In striving for inclusion, involvement, and consensus, though, many leaders have become inefficient at getting the right people in the room to get issues out on the table and resolve them quickly. It’s hard to have a meaningful dialogue and get to the heart of an issue with 12 people in a room. Some have accused George W. Bush of relying on a handful of people to make decisions but he has never been criticized at not having made decisions quickly. This is in sharp contrast to Jimmy Carter who was often criticized for having too many people involved and trying to reach consensus too often. Tony’s strategy of holding numerous short, small meetings in informal settings makes it possible for him to avoid protocol and consensus-building problems.
Tony is also a big believer in face-to-face communication rather than in the electronic communication that has become a favored tool of many leaders. While these virtual meetings and e-mail certainly have their place, they can easily be overused. Too many managers choose e-mail over personal contact because it’s faster and helps people avoid the "messy" emotional exchanges that can come when they’re forced to wrestle with difficult topics. That’s why more than one leader automatically leaves voice mail for the people who sit in the offices right next to theirs. Even more troubling, many leaders and teams also seem to have forgone the power of informal communication exchanges over coffee, lunch, or dinner. In the era of doing more with less and reducing expenses, we’ve moved from the extreme of the two-martini lunch to individuals grabbing a quick bite and eating alone at their desks. When colleagues are "breaking bread" together, they are connecting with one another on an individual basis. They are building trust by sharing details of their lives both in and outside the office. They are taking advantage of valuable networking opportunities to stay in the loop about what’s going on, what projects are hot, who’s in favor, and who’s out of favor. People are keeping each other in the know. This investment of time breaks down barriers, builds trust, and helps to establish those relationships that will help get things accomplished in the future. Tony grasps this instinctively; unfortunately, many business bosses do not.
To assess whether you use a diversity of settings/occasions to communicate with people, look at the following list and check the ones that you use as regular meeting places:
- Restaurants
- Coffee shops
- Walks (in the park, around the block, etc.)
- Athletic clubs
- Sporting events
- Bars/pubs
- Planes, trains, and automobiles (as well as other forms of transportation)
- Poker games
- Personal residence
- Other people’s homes/apartments
- Vacation/country houses
- Barbecues
- Museums
- Sports stadiums
- Shopping expeditions
- Street corners