In our kinder, gentler world, many leaders have "softened" their images to be more accessible. They have moved away from the strong, silent type to a more touchy-feely persona. In many ways, this is a good trend. Leaders today need to humanize themselves and learn to relate to people better than leaders did in the past. Some executives, though, have carried this trend too far. They appear to lack a backbone. They seem to give in to the slightest bit of pressure from above and fail to support their people when they’re having problems. In consensus-driven cultures, especially, the message may be that passionate debate is unacceptable, and leaders embrace this message by not expressing their ideas strongly.
As I’m sure you know, Tony isn’t like this. His crew sees him as someone who stands up for himself and his people. He does not let anyone get away with anything, and he does not let anyone walk over him. Even though he doesn’t particularly like Ralph, Tony knows that he has to protect Ralph when it appears as though Johnny Sack is after him and beats one of his men for no apparent reason. In addition, when Carmine and Johnny are looking to get a piece of the HUD deal, Tony doesn’t automatically cave in to their pressure. Instead, because he doesn’t agree that they should get a big piece of the action, he decides to shut down the Esplanade and wait them out until they come up with a more realistic offer. He knows that his organization is more diversified than Carmine’s and that he could force their hand. Despite the pressure they put on him, Tony refuses to back down, even though they give him opportunities to compromise without losing face. Part of projecting an image of strength is refusing to compromise even a little bit when you’re sure you’re right, and in this instance, Tony is certain his position is the right one.
You know a leader is strong when he’s emulated by his people. There are many Tony wanna-bes, and Artie, the restaurant owner, is one of them. Artie’s hostess’s brother is late for payment on the loan Artie made him. At first, Artie tries to be a nice guy, but when that doesn’t work, he decides to strong-arm the brother into giving him the money. Before visiting his delinquent customer, Artie does his best Tony impersonation in front of a mirror. He then bursts into the guy’s apartment, tries to beat him up, and gets pounded himself. Still, it’s a testament to Tony’s strength as a leader that Artie wants to be just like him.
In fact, Tony is so charismatically strong as a leader that other people reflexively model their behaviors after him. Even Dr. Melfi, when she’s at a restaurant and has had a few drinks, assumes Tony’s tough-guy stance. The woman sitting at the next table has been smoking cigarettes and Dr. Melfi has asked her to stop. Dr. Melfi sounds remarkably like Tony when she stops being the polite professional and barks the order to "Put the goddamn cigarette out!" Jackie Jr., too, attempts to emulate Tony’s style when he stages a robbery of a high-stakes card game and ends up shooting the dealer and two made men. Like Artie, Jackie Jr. admires Tony’s strength but fails when he tries to imitate it. Therein lies a lesson. I’m not suggesting that you should become a swaggering tough guy as a leader. There are many different ways to be strong, and you need to choose the way that fits your personality and position.
Charismatic strength often involves an air of invincibility. Tony seems indestructible in general and more specifically when he survives an attempt on his life; he appears to be so physically strong and forceful that nothing can harm him. Leaders in business seem invincible because they project qualities such as resoluteness and determination in the face of stiff odds. It’s not just that these leaders survive internal politics and various downsizings, but that they stick to their positions and policies despite pressures from outside (customers) and inside (bosses, consultants, boards) to get them to change. The phrase "indomitable will" captures what these people are all about. Such strength can be magnetic and inspire followers. People want to be associated with winners.
The danger of being a strong leader is that it can make people overly depend on you. When Christopher gets himself in a jam after hijacking Junior’s trucks, he turns to Tony and asks, "What do we do, T?" In the "Pine Barrens" episode when Christopher and Paulie are lost in the words, Paulie frequently calls Tony and ask for instructions. Consciously or not, strong leaders may feel the need to create this overdependence. Wanting Christopher to assume more responsibility within the family, Tony arranges for Christopher to kill the man who "supposedly" killed his father. He knew that this had been hanging over Christopher’s head for quite a while and was an unresolved issue. Tony manipulates the events in such a way that Christopher would forever be beholden to him.
If you want to develop the type of leadership strength that inspires others, here are some techniques to use:
- Identify your particular mode of strength. Maybe you’re the type who fights long and hard to implement your programs and ideas. Maybe you’re strong in the sense that you support your people through thick and thin. Maybe your strength resides in remaining calm and making good decisions in volatile situations. Maybe your strength is in your character; you never kowtow to anyone or attempt to manipulate people to do your bidding. Find your strength and project it as often and in as many ways as possible.
- Don’t give in, back down, or renege on a promise. These are the type of actions that cause leaders to be perceived as weak. Bosses who promise direct reports bonuses and then have to rescind their promises because they "couldn’t get approval" or "this is a bad time to ask for it" are seen as weak-willed. Similarly, managers who give rousing talks to their people about how they’re going to obtain resource X for the group or get Executive Y off their backs and then have to back down from this pledge are also viewed as lilylivered. Just avoiding these weak actions—or at least avoiding them as much as you can—will help foster a perception of strength.
- Be sufficiently confident in your strength that you don’t create a race of slaves. In today’s business environment, leaders must foster a sense of interdependence in their people. They need to convey the importance of acting independently but also as part of a larger group. Dependent employees will constantly seek your permission and approval, and this dependence will rob them of initiative and creativity. Therefore, don’t be so intimidating that people are afraid to make a move without your say-so. Don’t be so high-and-mighty that they automatically attempt to please you first and solve the problem second. Give people sufficient freedom to act on their own without fear of reprisals from you if they make a mistake.