More than one executive has told me that networking makes them uncomfortable, in part because they feel like a cold-calling salesperson who is exploiting every contact she’s ever made. It’s important to remember, though, that you don’t create relationships with just anyone. It makes no sense to form partnerships with people who are unethical or who share different beliefs and values about business. While Tony is fearless in seeking alliances, he generally partners with others who share his business goals and his values of trust and loyalty. They may be very different from him in terms of their backgrounds and business styles, but the common goals and values cement the relationship.
Tony is good at identifying the gaps—the difference between the resources his crew possesses and the resources he requires to accomplish an objective—and creating alliances to fill these gaps. For example, when there was unrest with the joint-fitters union, he could have just muscled his way to a solution but, instead, he looked to "partner" with Reverend James Jr. to minimize the violence and thus reduce the risk. Reverend James Jr. shared Tony’s goals and values, and thus it made sense to partner with him, even though the Reverend and Tony were polar opposites in certain respects.
To seek goal-and value-oriented alliances, you should do the following.
Be aboveboard with your goals for a partnership. Too often, executives don’t show all their cards to their partners—especially when their partners are competitors or vendors and they’re fearful of revealing "trade secrets." As a result, the two parties enter an alliance with different expectations of the results. Invariably, the alliance falls apart because of these differing expectations.
Communicate your goals early and clearly. Explain exactly what you want to get out of the partnership and make sure you understand what your prospective partner desires. If it seems like you’re on the same wavelength, then a partnership may make sense.
Assess your prospective partner’s values versus your own. This is a more difficult measurement than goals, for values tend to be less tangible. Still, even if you didn’t know much about the prospective partner until recently, a few conversations can give you a sense of what’s important to him in terms of trust, loyalty, honesty, accountability, and diligence. It would be great if you had Tony’s laser-like perception and could quickly discern whether someone shared your values. Most people, though, can simply talk about the nuts and bolts of a possible working relationship to determine what the other person values. Is he willing to cut corners? Does he value speed over quality and results over values? Is he so cautious that he moves at a snail’s pace, while you’re willing to take certain risks to capitalize on opportunities? If there’s a huge gap in what you both value, then building a relationship is a bad idea.